In a nutshell

Jilliane in a nutshell. 

Corpse...?

She giggled so hard about this. It was extremely hard to get her to sit still for this picture.

Here she is singing and conducting like at church. :)

Here is "Jilliane the gangster". I know, scary. And I have to live with her...

This is just scary...again...lol...

(For those of you at church: She will kill me at her senior banquet:))

Yep...we pretty much laugh all the time...

Madeleine

Bountiful Balloons

So, I threw a surprise party last weekend for a friend. We blew up many balloons and Jilliane helped and had fabulous fun blowing them up (and letting plenty of them go for the fun noise).

After the party, I noticed that we really didn't have many balloons left over. Hm...odd. No big deal. A couple days later, I ventured into Jilliane's room and found twelve of these little guys. 

She had taken twelve balloons, in multiple trips (I'm guessing 4 trips of 3 balloons each?), up the stairs, to her room, and then decorated them with a Sharpie and named each one of them. (Except for one. She just said it was blank. Gave no reason...)

She wrote each one's name on the base of the balloon. 

Their names: JJ WattS, Mike Wasowski, Blurp, Willy Nilly, Max, Franklin, Buddy, Mub (my favorite), Lexi, Eyeball, and Captain Smith.

Her she is with her balloon buddies.

This child is just so odd.

Madeleine

Jillybeans

1. "It would be cool to find a dead skunk, cut it open, and then find the stink pouch."

2. "Only one of my legs is cold."

3. "I think Uncle R. gets sunburned so easily on his head because it is the tallest thing."

4. "I couldn't find a punk hat...so..." (Puts on sea-foam green Cozumel hat)

5. "Guys, I have a new password. Y'all want to know it? It is ####."

6. (My mom was talking about how something would cost $125 to fix.) "It's almost like a trip to Wal-Mart. You're fine, Mom."  (We rarely shop at Wal-Mart, so this was really random.)

7. "My feet are cold...It feels like my blood is a rock."

8. "My room is clean. I feel like a normal girl now."

9. "Sometimes, I think he [Zac, our dog] is just an alien. Because he is SO weird..."

10. "I can hear her [Dixie's, our dog's] blood flow. It's louder on her neck."

11. "It would be so weird if a snake slithered into my bathing suit and laid three eggs." (Yes, Jilliane...that would be weird...)

12. "Instead of playing in the playhouse, let's put on these socks and be ballerinas!"

13. "It's like I am a ribbon ninja......"

14. "You know, shiny pennies are from a spell from the Easter bunny." (I don't know where she came up with this idea...)

15. "I wish we could turn our heads all the way around."

So odd...

Madeleine

Anyone hiring?

Here is a collection of jobs that Jilliane has mentioned (at some point over the years) she wants to do. Not do all of them...she just changes careers. :)

1. Lawyer (She is going to get rich and buy "a car with a roof that comes off." Also, she declares that she is a great arguer, so it is a good job for her.)

2. Doctor

3. Teacher

4. Pricing lady (Referring to what my mom does for a living :))

5. Fishing guide

6. Not a surgeon (Because "I will get nauseous when I see a cut and stuff.")

7. Not a "night-watcher"

8. Succulent farmer. And, as a succulent farmer, she says she will give her mom ones for free for her garden.(She is in love with succulents, or any plants that hold water. She likes saying the word, she likes watching them grow, she likes feeling them, and she is fascinated with the fact that you can rip off a leaf, plant it and it will root and grow. She has many growing in her little garden areas. "I just love succulents! They are so squishy and cool.")

9. Fossilologist  (She found a few fossils while geo-caching...new career change!)

10. "A person that has animals and does tests on them"

11. An orange picker (Because she is going to climb trees and she can pick oranges for money.)

12. Meteorologist (She loves rain and being the expert on when it will rain.)

13. Veterinarian

14. NOT an instrument player. (She "gets out of breath too much.")

15. A scientist (So she can do lots of experiments.)

The girl has some dreams. :)

Madeleine

Questions

"How can you tell someone is Amish?"

"Why aren't horses in the zoo?"

After being asked to do a favor, "I have a question. Why is it that when people ask for a favor, they don't stop and wait for an answer? They just keep talking and tell you what to do anyways!"

 "How many calories does it take to kill you?"

"Did clowns come out in the 80's? Because they have huge afros..."

"How do you get brain freeze?"

"Is dust a plant?"

"Madeleine, would you like an exotic dot?" (Some little dot stickers she had...)

"Why do kidnappers usually have black cars?" (We couldn't understand why she thought black cars...I have always thought white van...)

"Will your contacts grow back if you put them in water?" (This was after I had torn one of mine.)

We were in the car and it was quiet. She wasn't doing anything and randomly said, "What's the five letter word?"

"Why aren't apples hairy?" (um...why would they be?)

"Aren't you so glad we don't have cats to chase the yarn?"

"Someday, if we have dry macaroni, can I make a brain out of it? And if there is edible glue, then eat it?

She is so odd...

Madeleine

Jillybeans

"I like my last name. Some people have last names like Valdez. But, I don't. I'm not going to take my husband's name."

"I like doing crosswalks."

"It would be cool if you could gel your eyebrows to look like a mo-hawk. No! To look like another set of eyelashes!!!"

"Carpet looks like a sea anemone."

"Grandpa, the reason Dixie (our dog) will bite your head is because its round and shiny, like a ball."

"I usually just think of a club like a place in the woods where kids and their parents go in the morning and night."

"Mom....I think I ripped a mole off."

"That's an awesome truck! It would've been better with a deer on it, though."

"I just thought of something...it is like we (us sisters) are the boogers and Mom is the nose..." (I do not know what she meant by this...)

"That guy is skinny but his ribs are like...whooooo!"

"I know why Santa has a beard. To keep him warm in the North Pole."

"A fairy could rip off a succulent plant leaf and use it as a pillow. Because they are so squishy. It would be like a Tempurpedic pillow...with a rock underneath it."

"Lamentations has the word 'lemon' in it." (Um...okay? Wrong...)

"I think that sign was made out of a mattress."

"Yo, yo! I'm THE JILLYBEAN!!!"

At the eye doctor, trying to read some really small print: "This looks like my Bible!"

"Sometimes when I have to go number 2, my uterus hurts." (What in the world?!?!?)

Science Lab

I'm sure you read the title and inhaled sharply a bit because "Jilliane...science...experiments...things that could go terrible wrong...house burned down...how can we help their family"...was somewhat like your train of thought. Don't worry. Nothing has gone wrong. Yet.

I just thought her seriousness and love of what she calls "science" is really rather Jillianish. :) And, so you all know, "This place is not for human hands." Apparently, only she and her tweezers can touch things in her lab.

Her set-up. New things are added/used/taken away every day. Including random things from outside, the kitchen, the trash, etc. 

I asked what she was doing and what was in the dishes to the left. She said, "Just water for stuff." 

The little circle dishes have bits of plants/moss and water in them. 

 The yellow things are corn on the cob holders. She has also got communion cups, medicine cups, tweezers, a lipstick holder, a mirror, a hat light, icing caps, and some other stuff I can not figure out...like the gray thing.

But, this is her absolute favorite part. A little terrarium, that she takes special care of, that is perched on her ottoman by her window sill. She was so excited when my grandma bought it for her and she watches it all the time. The plants have actually started growing now. :)

I wonder what goes through that little head of hers...to be Jilliane for a day...

Madeleine

Vitamin water?

Jilliane likes to....experiment sometimes.

Here she is trying to make 'Vitamin Water'. We have a jar of gummy vitamins and she decided to take two and put them in a medicine cup with water and see if it would turn into 'Vitamin Water'.

It failed. Miserably. Don't ask me where she gets her ideas or what goes through her head...

She makes me laugh...

Madeleine

Don't bother

It's a normal, lazy summer day. However, the house is quiet. Too quiet. Jilliane's room door is shut. Very suspicious. (We have had an open door only policy for awhile because of the experiments and other strange things she hid from us...like her stash drawer...)

I open the door to find a clean (I KNOW, RIGHT? CLEAN?!?) bedroom with what I think is nobody in it. As I'm turning to leave, I hear the sound of TV. Jilliane has in fact closed herself in under her desk with pieces of a dollhouse and is watching TV on a device.

She has the entire room and house even...and she decides to hole herself up under her desk with very limited room...(Her head is bent because she has to and her knees touch both sides...)

That child is SO odd...

Madeleine

Jilliane ownly!

So, I walk into the kitchen and see the fridge, like any normal day. However, a bag of chips has been attached to it by a chip clip. Who ever could have done this?

The chips on fridge. (Left side, under ice dispenser)

She wrote in Sharpie, "Jilliane ownly!"

Apparently, it was Jilliane. And the next morning she walked into the kitchen, saw her chips and exclaimed, "I totally forgot about those!"

What a weirdo...

Madeleine

Jillybeans

Another collection of her random comments...

"Mom! Is this a blouse?!? Ohmygoodness! I've never worn a blouse before!! This is my first blouse!!!"

"When I get older, I'm gonna be a tree climber...and pick oranges for money."

"My favorite dots are the green ones." (She was eating a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and there are little, TINY, spices on them...that she calls dots. And, apparently her favorite ones are the green spices...I don't know how she can taste them individually...so...?)

"That hole over there looks like where the Lorax came from." (Reference to Dr. Suess' book, The Lorax)

"I found out that it hurts really bad when you pluck hairs by your mouth. Only on top though..."

"Copy that, Roger."

"I wish I had a costume for a carrot." (She meant she desires a carrot costume. :))

"Mom, the ice cream has two humps in it. One for you and one for me."

"That tree looks like it is looking at me!!!"

"That guy's muscles are the size of daddy's head!"

*SCREAMING and singing* "IF YOU NEED A CAR, TRUCK-O-LAY!! WHO YOU GONNA CALL? AUTO MAN!!!"

While looking at a cracker and said in a dreamy voice, "It's like a square moon with craters..."

"I want to be like Daddy...Except I can't pee in a jug..."

While talking about New York and how she wouldn't want to live there: "But, when you go to sleep, it's like 'bing bing bing' all the time."

"I learned that one gallon is a couple quarts and pints and some other stuff..."

"Pirates know how to sleep with one eye open." (She told us this very matter-of-factly...)

"I've always wanted to be in a kangaroo pouch."

"I wish I had a costume for a carrot."

"I LOVE wearing bathing suits because I don't have to wear underwear with them."

Those are french fries:)

Madeleine

If found, do a DNA test please

I pick up Jilliane's "car book". Seems innocent enough. Morris the Moose- a cute little story.  She reads it all the time in the car. So, she must like it. Clearly...because she doesn't want it to get lost...

 THEN, I open the front cover....and find...

DNA. 

Yes, that says 'my blod'. (Translation: My blood) And yes, my little sister TOOK HER BAND-AID OFF AND STUCK IT TO A BOOK!! And THEN proceeded to add blood to it every time she bled somewhere for the next few months. Apparently, it's her DNA so it won't get lost. 

Yes, I think she has watched too many crime shows...

And yes, we all think this is gross...

Madeleine

The Turban

So...Jilliane went through a week-or-so phase where she wore a towel thing on her head every night while she slept or just randomly through out the house. We called it the turban.

And, I'm sorry for the bad picture quality. She refuses to put it on again to take a picture. I'm just glad we got the pictures we got. But, you can see it...kinda. She just put it over and wrapped it around until it stayed.

Yes, we all got used to it and didn't even blink an eye when we saw The Turban make an appearance.

And yes, we all referred to it as "The Turban"

She's a weird one, I tell you....

Madeleine

Questionable Questions

Jilliane is quite a question-asker. Many people ask questions. They're good. It's how we learn.  (When she asks a particularly 'questionable' one, I write it down and transfer it to the blog later.) Here is a collection of some of the random questions Jilly asks:

"Can you get lice in your eyebrows?"

"Do you want to play communion with us?"

Jilliane: "Is there a song called 'Boom Boom Dollar'?"
Mom: "Um...I haven't heard of it. I don't think so..."
Jilliane: "Well, can we listen to it?"

"Where do you get pregnant mannequins?"

"Is it bad to drive over a grave?"

"Does it hurt to get your tongue cut, like a snake?"

"Why did I wear flip flops? PAUSE. "Why do people ask questions they maybe do or don't know the answer to?"

"Wait....motorcycles have license plates?!?"

"Mom, how old were you in the eighties? Did you ever see a guy with a giant afro poking his hair?"

"Can you put a wiener dog in a purse?"

At the dinner table:  "Daddy, if you were really rich...what type of bath tub would you have?"

In the car:  "What does a baby lion look like when it gets out of its mom's tummy? Is it pink?"

"How does weather work?"

Jilliane: "Why does your mouth have to be wet?"
Mom: "I don't know..."
Jilliane: "Well, you should. You're an adult."

"Why do a lot of elderly people like applesauce?"

"Is Wells Fargo good?" (as in a good restaurant...we were discussing where to eat.)

"Dad, did you go to school in a one-room school house?"

"You know how cowboys shoot their guns into the air? Well, where does the bullet go?"

"Can we go to Cinemark to watch a three-hour movie?" (Three hour movie....okay???)

"SERIOUSLY?!? IT IS 10:00?!? *pauses and is quiet for a minute* "Is that late?"

"You know how I get quiet when I am mad?" (This was only funny because of how ridiculously untrue it was...that child....my goodness...)

I thought this picture totally perfects the post...the entire blog, actually...:)

Anyone know how to answer all these? 

Madeleine

Marriage?

Jilliane talks about her future and wedding constantly. And it changes constantly too. Here are some of her ideas from over the years:

1. She's going to marry Christmas. (Get it? Lol:))

2. She's going to have an "Under-the-Sea" wedding, with a LONG dress. 

3. Her wedding will be at the beach. 

4. She's not going to get married.

5. She wants a NEON wedding. (Complete with neon dress(es), lights, tuxedo, etc)

6. Her wedding MIGHT be on the moon.

7. It will only have "a little bit of people".

8. Her fiancee will come. (The fiancee is a fabulous addition to any wedding. Get yours today! And yes, she actually told me this one day...as all the other things as well....)

9. At the end of the ceremony, her dad will say jokes. "Funny ones."

10. Everyone is going to swim at our house afterwards- for the party.

11. She will have shrimp to eat.

12. Her groom will wear capri pants. (because she is going to wear a dress that goes half-way below her knees, and he can't have long pants if she wears a 'kinda-short' dress.)

13. Her wedding will be in Disney World.

14. Her wedding will be "outside, near (not in) a little white church. Not near a neighborhood or anything like that."

15. Her dress will "not be a big pouf, but not djhfajhf (some weird sound she made) skinny and tight."

She declared this little covering a place that could be for a wedding.

You have to admit...the girl has got ambitions...hopefully, her 'fiancee' will be all for it. (And able to keep up with her...you know, IF he is invited...)

Madeleine

Not today

During the summer, I have Jilliane write/do math to keep up her skills for the upcoming school year. (And so she isn't a slug in front of the TV the whole summer. Because she would be if we let her....And to keep her occupied for a couple minutes.)

Sometimes, she tests my patience with the whole "I-don't-know-how-to-do-this act" or the "I'm-too-tired-to-write-but-not-too-tired-to-jump-around-and-scream-like-a-crazy-kid act" or even the "I-don't-know-how-to-read-suddenly" attitude.

So, one day, after a huge bout of complaining...she quiets down and I see her writing.

I look over and find this:

Oh Jilliane....what to do with you?

Madeleine

JJ, the Robot

Jilliane created a robot for school. He consists of (LOTS of) duct tape, a box, 2 Coke cans, 2 water bottle caps, and who knows what else.

Meet JJ.

This was Jilliane's reason for his name: "Well, he is made out of junk and he is mine." ('Mine' meaning the "J" in her name.)

His arm. Duct (or "duck" tape according to Jilly.) tape and a Coke can. :)

Inside of the flap. 

Inside of box. A self 'distruct' button...just in case. 

This box covered another button...not sure what it does, but it says 'fli'. Oh!! Maybe that makes it fly...

As usual, her details crack me up...

Madeleine